Its not what we do, but how we do it and why that determines the quality of any experience as well as the outcome. The same goes for relationships.
To be in a relationship is not enough to experience lasting happiness.There are many thing to learn about our selves and our partner to be able to create a loving and fulfilling relationship.
This was eventually the reason why I learned to value all of my relationships – good or bad. Each person I have been in the relationship with shined some light on the side of me I couldn’t explore alone. We come together for a purpose and our work is to find out how can we teach each other to appreciate our selves, each other, communicate well and support each other to find this purpose. One of my favorite people explaining relationships and their dynamics extremely well are Esther and Jerry Hicks (aka Abraham Hicks).
Here is a video that, in my opinion, contains a lot of valuable information. Let me know what you think.
I would like talk about the part of this message, where Abraham explains about maintaining our own identity as well as allowing our partner to maintain theirs.
The challenges of being in a relationships
Sometimes when we are in a relationships, we try to become someone we assume would be loved more than who we really are.
As we try to improve our selves over time in the hope of pleasing our partner and maintaining the relationship, we actually get into habit of focusing on the fact that who we are is not enough. As we do that, the Law of Attraction start mirroring that in all aspects of our lives to bring us back on the path of self appreciation.
While trying to prevent any reasons for our relationship to end, we can loose our own identity, confidence and are sometimes left feeling lost and very vulnerable. Our personal power and clarity about who we are and what we want can almost disappear and with it all the right reasons to feeling happy. And in the end many times the relationship falls apart too.
From my own personal experience, the biggest lesson to learn while in a relationship was to stay centered and happy with not being perfect, but lovable and learning that our uniqueness is why someone falls in love with who we are.
Being aware of our own value allow us see everybody else’s value in a much better light creating healthy relationships.
Communicating our need and wants in the relationships
The next step is to learn to communicate our needs in a loving, CLEAR and respectful manner. Not doing that can be a huge obstinate for creating the relationship we desire.
We can then even learn how to fight in a productive way. And this skill can be very useful in many areas of our lives. Listening is as important as saying what is on our mind. Co-creating includes both communicating what we want and need and listening to wants and needs of our partner.It brings balance and establishes mutual respect in the wonderful process of co-creation of the relationships we are in.
The purpose of relationships is not finally finding someone who will make you happy again, but who will reflect on your own happiness and point out where you need to grow so you could be even happier.