It’s mid week and I hope it has been an amazing, exciting, productive and enjoyable week for you. If not, the video below I want to share with you may change that. It’s one of my favourite TED talks and I really felt inspired to share it with you.
I have a habit of watching an inspirational video each morning before I start my day. It get’s me going. It’s a way to wake me up – mentally, emotionally and energizes me better than a cup of coffee. It’s been one of the best habits that I have developed in last few years.
This morning I was watching Mel Robbins -one of the top career and relationship experts in America, talking about a little word most people use on daily basis and serves as a perfect way to camouflage how you really feel in the moment about your day, your life, your self, your job…..the list goes on….
This is not my first time I have watched this video. It’s been one of my favourite TED talks for a while and it never fails to power me right up while I giggle a lot because Mel is actually a very smart lady with a great sense of humor.
Mel Robbins: About the F-word and how to stop screwing yourself over
Connecting to your pain and disappointment could save your life
In my experience as Life Coach I have noticed the so many people are completely disconnected with how they really feel every day. They are preventing themselves from feeling their pain or disappointment they are feeling about the different parts of their life that are far from what their dream life should be.
As much of a good idea as that may seem, it’s a trap. And it can easily trap you in the “FINE LAND” for a long time.
Dangers of the FINE LAND
The thing about the FINE LAND is, it’s safe and somewhat comfortable but also pretty boring, at times depressing and anything else but inspiring. Most importantly, the prolonged visitation of the FINE land is dangerous – it keeps you from living the life you have 100% ability to create and enjoy. And most of all, your true purpose in this world is put “on hold” and that is just wrong.
The person that often decides to look into Life Coaching services is someone who has embraced how disappointed, unhappy or frustrated they feel about something in their life and they are ready to ask for and receive help and support to make changes.
The usual reasons why we keep ourselves “in the dark” about the way we truly feel are:
- Fear of not knowing what to do after you face the truth and no clear idea what to do next to get out of that mess.
- It’s easy. So many people do it that it doesn’t seem so bad.
- You decided to keep yourself small to make sure not to rock someone’s boat. The who am I to …syndrom.
- Not fully developed sense of Self worth. Do you think you deserve better?
- Being unaware of your options (and not looking into your options) and feeling like you have no choice anyway.
Do any of these sound familiar?
Ready to leave the FINE land for something more exciting?
What is your activation energy?
Where do you feel stuck in your life?
The activation energy can be an on-going frustration, anger, sadness, feeling like something is missing all day long, some kind of a fear, or overwhelming desire to have something in your life that you know would make you happy again.
Take an inventory. Be brave and get really specific.
Try this approach:
You and your best friend, and 15 minutes of truth
When I was younger I was fortunate enough to have 5 special people in my life – 5 girls and my best friends since I was about 4 and who I keep in touch with still today. When we were about 17 we started to play a game called – the hour of truth, usually accompanied with a bottle of wine and and willingness to fully embrace how we really felt about each other.
We were all different characters and as teenagers we had lots of uncomfortable feelings running through our bodies that needed attention. This little game we played became a custom in our little community for years to come and something we actually really enjoyed and got a lot of insights from about how to relate to people we love.
Knowing that we were entering a safe we created for each other, we would discuss the good and the bad. Today we think that it was the foundation for us having the most incredible friendship that felt liberating,very empowering and easy to be in for all these years.
15 minutes of unedited truth
My point is, you should be your best friend that you can talk to about anything without a fear of being judged or not being heard. Make your self a nice cup of tea, or get a glass of wine, you can even go as far as getting a piece of your favourite cake to honor this special moment and celebrate your decision to leave the FINE land.
Give yourself 15 minutes of speaking unedited truth. Start with 5 or 10 if that is more comfortable and go as long as you need to to feel relief.
Than embrace that energy, let yourself feel it as it rises up and then instead of rejecting it, learn from it. What’s really important to you? Where in your life did you settle for it’s FINE ?
If you get teary, it’s fine. Let it all hang out. Let the energy to leave your body and only keep the message it delivered.
Write it down. I find it always helps to organize my thoughts so I can see what’s happening inside my head.
How you feel doesn’t have to be permanent and the negative feeling actually shrinks when you take the time to sit with, understand it and learn from it. What is it telling you about your life and your self?
You could feel differently in a matter of days if you take the message that your activation energy is trying to deliver seriously. Next step is to seek help, support and allowing your creative genius to be in charge of brainstorming for new ideas (no matter how silly or crazy they may seem) to get out of the rut.
Waiting to be inspired mistake
Don’t just clear the air and wait for a miracle that someone will hand you the better version of your life now that you know what it is, and what you don’t want anymore.
And don’t wait to be inspired or motivated to do things differently. As Mel said that may never come.
Just do things differently. It can be as simple as that. Change your routines. It will stir up the stale energy that keeps you stuck and “on the autopilot” and allow for new opportunities to point you in the right direction. All you need to revel is the next step. One little step that will get you on a different life, career or relationship path.
5 seconds rule
When the inspiration to do something (usually out of your comfort zone) comes, follow the 5 seconds rule. Do not allow your mind to take over and over analyze the situation. Move your body. Speak your mind. Go through with it without an expectation if I can recommend. Just practice following your instincts, inspirations and being comfortable with it.
I call that making a Goddess move.
My Goddess move was asking my boyfriend out to lunch when he was walking by on the street (after him eyeing me out for a while). We have been together for almost 7 years and are planning to start a family now. He became my mentor in process of starting an on-line business and is the love of my life. It was a good move!
My Goddess move was also going into a Yoga studio in Vancouver and asking: Would you hold my first workshop? And they did. I was so worried no one would come I would be so embarrassed and broken – hearted about it, but people came and had a great time doing what came naturally and made me come alive. Another good move!
What would be your Goddess move?
Share it below. Dare to be daring. Or share an experience you have with making one of these 5 seconds Goddess moves in the past. It will inspire others, I am sure.
You have the power to go from fine to I’ve never been happier.
Make the move!
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I hope today, you are not fine, you are inspired and excited about life you get to live one day at the time.
