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Oh, the romantic idea of a Soulmate – the perfect person that changes everything and our life turns into heaven on Earth. That’s why we chase after it so relentlessly.

But what if it’s all misunderstood. What if your Soulmate is not who you think he/ she is?


What if you have been chasing after the wrong idea and missing on opportunities to meet the partner that will be the right/ most complimentary company for you in your life?

The word Soulmate is being thrown around a lot these days. There are tons of books out there on the topic of finding Your True Soulmate.

So why are so many people today still having such a hard time with finding “the one”?

Two of my favourite women – Lilou Mace and Sonia Choquette talking about Soulmates versus Life Partners, may have some answers for you.

This interview may be hard to digest for some people but I think it offers very grounded ideas about finding the true love.

Sonia Choquette and Lilou Mace on Soulmates versus Life Partners

Sonia Choquette is one of my favourite Self help and Spirituality authors. I own 3 of her books and I really treasure them. Sonia has very practical and down to earth approach to the idea of manifesting your most desired life. She always offers tons of simple, practical and fun tools that actually work and work fast (from my experience). That’s why I use her teachings in my own Coaching approach as much as I do.

Here are some important notes from this great interview:

Who are Soulmates?

Soulmates are Divine appointment with people who remind you of your Soul Plan and who activate your most authentic self, and who challenge you to grow your soul the most. ~ Sonia Choquette.

Not the usual definition of a Soulmate, right?

Soulmates are actually primarily powerful teachers letting us know about our blind spots. They remind us to grow in a way that we don’t block – other words we are willing to change for them and also look at things from a new perspective.

Our connection with Soulmates is usually really deep. Sometimes there is even a strong physical attraction. That’s when it gets confusing and hard to navigate in a way that we could get the most out of these relationships.

Why? Because many times they are not available  to us – emotionally or in other ways. They may be already “taken” married…

Soulmates are not usually interested in traditional commitments.  They are here to activate the growth of our soul.

But there are exceptions, of course.

Soulmates versus Life partners

Soulmates challenge us to unconditional love, and to love our selves fully.


I remember one of those relationships I had myself  with someone I thought was my Soulmate -” the one” as I understood it back than too.

It was emotional, passionate and a total mess. So confusing and frustrating ending in an ugly break-up and the man who I thought was my Soulmate saying to me: “Erika, you deserve better!”

And he was right! I sure did.

I just had to learn it the hard way. This particular Soulmate was my Self Love and Self Worth teacher. And he did a good job teaching me to expect better and ask for what I know I deserve in a relationship.

He really well pointed out my blind spots when it came to being in a relationship. I was miss-treating myself and I had to find out so I could correct that behaviour, and most importantly so one day I could have the loving relationship I was dreaming of.

Once I got honest with myself and connected with my heart, I understood the purpose of that relationship.

Not long after learning this important lesson I’ve met my Life Partner – the man I have been in a loving, fun relationship for the last 7 years.

The important role of a Soulmate

So, the way you are in each others lives (with your Soulmate) may not be ideal but incredibly important to your growth as a person. Take these opportunities to let these powerful teachers to do their job.

The physical attraction you may feel doesn’t have to be a proof that this is the person you are “meant to” spend your life with. This attractions assures that we learn the lessons and stick around till it becomes obvious to us. It involves some hard choices you may need to make and even some heartache, but it’s all worth it in the end.

Soulmates prepare us for our Life partners. They may brake our heart, only to make sure that our hearts will open so we can live life fully and love fully.

Sonia’s tips on how to handle your relationships with Soulmates:

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  1. Don’t get attached and try to “own this person”.
  2. Make a distinction between your soulmates and life partners – more grounded, calm relationships.
  3. Look up Sonia’s Choquette’s book: The diary of a Psychic to guide you on your journey to leveraging your relationships with Soulmates.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Sonia and a powerful question:

There is no lack of possibilities to LOVE. ~ Sonia Choquette.

What are your goals for the next relationship, or for the relationship that you are in right now?

Be honest with yourself, stay grounded and open your heart when you start searching for these answers.

Happy Valentine’s day !